How to deal with: “I Don’t Want to Practice!”

We’ve all been there. You lovingly remind your child it’s time to practice violin, and they look at you as if you’ve just asked them to scrub the floor with a toothbrush.

“But I don’t want to practice!”

Cue the dramatic sigh. Maybe even a full-body flop onto the couch.

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone—and good news, you're not helpless either. Here’s how to respond with calm, confidence, and a touch of strategy (instead of threats, bribery, or locking yourself in the pantry).

1. First, Don’t Panic!!

Your child’s “I don’t want to” doesn’t mean they hate the violin. It often means:

They’re tired.

They feel stuck.

They’re craving control.

They really want a snack first,

Or simply no reason, not in a practice mood.

Try saying:
“Sounds like you’re not in the mood right now. Want to do 5 minutes and then check in?” “Totally get it, how about we just play for 5 minutes and see how it goes?”

This gives them an out and a start. Most of the time, once the violin’s in hand, the resistance melts faster than you’d expect.

2. Offer Choices.

Giving two structured choices can reduce resistance without turning practice into a negotiation. Also, if they’re really not in a practice mood in that moment, try another time, or the second day, and you can offer listen to some music at that point as a substitute.

Try saying:
“Would you rather start with scales or your piece today?”
“Do you want to practice now or after snack?” “Maybe we can try practice later, how about we do some listening now, you want Tchaikovsky or Bach?”

See what we did there? Practice is happening—but they feel in charge. Sneaky. Effective. Beautiful.

3. Acknowledge the Feels, then reframe.

Sometimes kids need to know they’re heard. You don’t have to agree, just empathize.

Try saying:
“Yeah, it’s hard when we’d rather be doing something else. But remember how awesome you felt after playing that last tricky section?” “I hear you. Let's just give it a quick try for 5 minutes, and if it's still not working, we can pause.”

Remind them of past wins. Kids forget quickly, and they need you to be their practice hype squad.

4. Help them break It down

Practicing an entire piece might feel overwhelming (like someone asking you to reorganize the garage “real quick”).

Try saying:
“Let’s just work on these two lines and call it a win.” "No need to do the whole thing—just these two lines will be more than enough for today."

Small goals feel doable. And hey, if they keep going after that? Bonus!

5. Reward Progress, Not Perfection.

If every session ends in critique, who would want to practice? Make praise specific and focused on effort.

Instead of saying “good job”, try saying:
“I noticed how carefully you listened during that tricky shift. That was awesome focus.” "You really paid attention to that tricky spot—I can tell you were listening closely. Great work!"

Think less “American Idol judge,” more “supportive tour manager.”

Final Note:

You don’t have to be a violin expert to support your child. You just need a little patience, a few sneaky parenting strategies, and maybe a treat for yourself after they’re done (coffee, chocolate, or uninterrupted silence, your choice!).

Practice doesn’t have to be a battle. With the right words and mindset, it can be a surprisingly peaceful, even joyful part of your day.